bent over , back-breaking work - that's all I'm ever good for and all Ive ever been used to - from the minute i was born and probably to the momment till I die. I'm convinced Claire must even had me doing some sort of manual labour in my cot from where i laid. Why does she have it in for me so bad? When is anyone going to stop and intervene? These pesky social workers come to our house every month on an end, filling out forms and displaying smiles, none stopping to think what two teenagers could be getting up to in a house with a cancerous father.

''O no, Grandma Setie girls wont get up any trouble..o she keeps them so in check...you should taste her guava duff..and man those homemade rolls...the last time we came, o she was making seagrape jam...you should seen the thick black jelly...''and on and on they'd go, as if i was interested in the slightest in their details about how Grandma Setie was supposedly keeping us in order''

the last time they came I made a deliberate attempt to half raise my sleeves so they could see the fresh bruises that Claire had made on arm just that morning for not getting her up early in time to put on her make -up...but o no...''you must stopping playing so rough with the boys Sam, or going rambling through the bushes to the coast on your own Sam''...o for goodness sake- why do i even bother?!!...no one is going to miss me until im dead.

well i lie, maybe nathan would....he's been ever so kind to me..he lets me take the first bite out of his peanut butter and jelly sandwiches at lunch and he always let me dig the biggest clam and perriwinkle off the weather tired rocks near the cove that we go to weekends...after ive done the load of washing and ironing, and cooking and cleaning and clipping Claire's toenails...i suppose i should be grateful that she hasnt made me bite them off with my teeth instead..

so far...

....im going out to look at the stars...the sky is like a dusty pink canvass with a million lights sparkling through....i wonder if everywhere else in the world have a sky like my long island...'

sam.