'you dont want me to get started on the day ive just had.... i missed the bus...i left my lunch at home and my sister tripped me up in front of her friends and had the nerve to say it was an accident....its on days like these like i wish i could just curl up and die... or disappear....No one takes me seriously anymore, and my father...my poor father with a tube up his nose gasping for breath....how can he tell anyone off...he cant even get enough energy to draw in his own breath...so how can he be expected to tell that brat off...

lord give me strenght...where are you when i need you..

i feel so tired and alone.. and hungry. i havent eaten all day and the minute i walk through that door my sister has a million and one things for me to do...'light the fire sam, wash the dishes sam, wash my shirt sam...your dad is calling you sam...sam my head is hurting, sam i need a drink, milk the goat sam, make some bush smoke sam.. feed me dinner sam...oooh for goodness sam, look you spilt on me sam and ill have to teach you a lesson now...goodness my hands cant even reach your face to slap you sam..will you lean alittle closer sam...

why are you doing this to me lord...why did you have to let my mother die giving birth to me? why does my sister have to hurt me for every little thing? didnt she know i lost a mother too?

the only friend i have in the world is nathan...my sweet neighbour with his laughing blue eyes and swaggering steps...warm cool palms.. firm....... .. what is the matter with me....what in the world am i saying....nathan ..i mean nat..o im so confused....id best go ive got to write in my diary