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Cost of Contentment
Posted On: 03/06/2007 10:57:45
Why does happiness and contentment have such a steep price tag?

"Sure, everyone has had bad breaks from time. While others seem not to be moved by the bitter aspects of life."

Have you ever been in relationship after relationship each time being just as or even more optimistic each time around? Ofcourse you have. Who hasn't? Although many people who have been openly hurt will find it rather difficult to admit that they really do want contentment and happiness with a special person. It's human nature to want to be coupled and loved. But what happens when the price of contentment becomes too high?

Do you settle? Everyone has at some point because of our relentless subconscious pursuit to find contentment.

Here, let me paint you a picture...
You just recently got dumped and you're on the rebound. You're hurting really bad and feeling betrayed and vulnerable. All of a sudden someone apprears to walk into your life and they become a confidante because they appear to be a shoulder to cry on. You begin to see this person in a different light and eventually a new relationship blossoms. Ok. That's not such a bad thing in itself.

However, all that glitters isn't gold. Nine out of ten times this person is preying on your vulnerablilty and has no genuine interest in you. Now that that's said...what do you do?

I don't always suggest you listen to your close friends and family when making decisions. However love is blind and the things that others can see may not always be in clear view to you. If you have a close friend that always gives good advice, for heaven's sake listen!

It now seems you are at a cross road right? It all happened so fast. You just got out of a relationship and yet you are back in another seems overnight. There is no way you can decipher the difference in the emotions you are feeling. Why? Because you haven't healed from the last relationship that you were in. There is absolutely no way you are ready to start another one. Take time to love yourself and mend your heart.

Speaking of which and contrary to what lyricists and poets convey, you cannot rely on another to mend your heart. It is a process that takes some time that you have to do some soul searching for.

You say, yeah that's good and all but that's not me. Ok, fair enough. If you are like me, you are the type of person that mourns in silence and seclusion. I am the type of person that believes that tears are a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Therefore, I never allow people to see me cry.

The one you loved be it for a day or a lifetime left without saying goodbye. Suddenly you feel lost and inadequate because it feels like a part of you is missing. You secretly sob maniacally at times when you think of your lost love. You miss them so much that a moment with them just one more time would change your world around. You long and yearn for them but they are no longer at your reach. You lay at night on tear drenched pillows thinking of what you could have done differently. Everything you see reminds you of them. Crazy huh? Not really.

Sometimes it takes a loss for us to realize that we were in love and didn't know it..often after its too late.

I am a romantic dreamer. I sometimes find myself longing for such unrealistic romance it's just rediculous. I guess you can say I live in a romance novel. And yes, admittedly so im a little out of touch with reality when it comes to relationships. I'm the type of woman that dreams of white horses and moonlight gondola rides in Venice. But hey, that's just me.

Because of this I find that my expectations of the man I choose to be in my life are far more outrageous than beyond his limitations. I want to be swept off my feet like every woman dreams of.

But...
At what cost will I find the man of my dreams? Do I sacrifice my own desires and specifications and settle for "Average Joe"? Or should I keep the proverbial candle burning?


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Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Comments

From: Tamar
03/12/2007 18:00:38
I RESPECT ALL OF THE OPINIONS EXPRESSED HERE, BUT I DISAGREE WITH SETTLING FOR SOFT SERVE IF I CAN GET ICE CREAM. MANY TIMES WE AS FEMALE LONG FOR A FAIRY TALE RELATIONSHIP THAT LAST FOREVER, THATs ALL GOOD, BUT LETS COME BACK TO EARTH FOR A WHILE. MANY TIMES PERSONS GET INTO RELATIONSHIPS GIVE THERE ALL AND THEN BANG! THE BIG HEART BREAK. LEAVING YOU WITH SLEEPLESS NITES AND UNDESIREABLE DAYS OF VENTURING OUT INTO A COLD WORLD(AS YOU SEE IT NOW).

THE HEALING PROCESS BEGINS AND THEN WHAT? HONESTLY I WOULD CHANGE MY STRATEGY THIS TIME WHEN GRADING SOMEONE OF INTEREST. IT WOULD BE INSANE TO REPEAT THE SAME STEPS AND EXPECT A DIFFERENT OUTCOME.

WE AS FEMALES DEPRIVE OUR SELF MANY TIMES WHEN USING OUR PERSONAL CHECKLIST FOR OUR IDEAL MATE.THATS WHERE WE GO WRONG. MANY TIMES I FIND THAT THE NICEST GUYS ARE THE ONES I AM NOT PHYSICAL ATRACTED TOO. THEN I DEBATE WITH MYSELF MAYBE I COULD HAVE A ROMANTIC FAIRYTALE RELATIONSHIP WITH AN AVERAGE JOE. Hhhmmm. .. .. .

SO MAYBE SOFT SERVE ISNT BAD AFTER ALL, THERE IS ICE CREAM AVAILABLE AND I CAN GET IT, BUT ONLY ONE FLAVOR!


From: candiman
03/09/2007 11:32:33
there women go again what you may call settling is not really that if your relax your standards its not settling sometimes what we need and what we think we need or what we want and what we think we want arent the same thing.

My observations have led me to realize that women, i'm not sure if its too much t.v. or to many fantasy novels when you were young but always seem to be lookin for a prince charming. there is no such thing there is no perfect guy or girl.

Besides do you really trust your judgement anyway your judgement on what you want is what got in the predicament that you are in now.One of the definition of insanity is doing the same thing everyday trying to get a different result,think about that for a minute. This means you use the same criteria everytime you look for a mate and expect a different type of guy to appear doesnt that same like insanity to you if you think about it.

Now try something different someone different that so called "average joe" could be your prince charming. you call it settling i call it adjusting my search criteria.


From: Undeniablysweet
03/08/2007 21:09:20
We seem to have a lot in common......I want a fairy tale romance and I've gotten a taste of it. So now.....even if I wanted to, it seems like the hardest thing in the world to settle for the "average joe". I don't think you should settle cuz I definitely don't plan to!



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