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Cost of Contentment
Posted On: 03/06/2007 10:57:45
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Why does happiness and contentment have such a steep price tag? "Sure, everyone has had bad breaks from time. While others seem not to be moved by the bitter aspects of life." Have you ever been in relationship after relationship each time being just as or even more optimistic each time around? Ofcourse you have. Who hasn't? Although many people who have been openly hurt will find it rather difficult to admit that they really do want contentment and happiness with a special person. It's human nature to want to be coupled and loved. But what happens when the price of contentment becomes too high? Do you settle? Everyone has at some point because of our relentless subconscious pursuit to find contentment. Here, let me paint you a picture... You just recently got dumped and you're on the rebound. You're hurting really bad and feeling betrayed and vulnerable. All of a sudden someone apprears to walk into your life and they become a confidante because they appear to be a shoulder to cry on. You begin to see this person in a different light and eventually a new relationship blossoms. Ok. That's not such a bad thing in itself. However, all that glitters isn't gold. Nine out of ten times this person is preying on your vulnerablilty and has no genuine interest in you. Now that that's said...what do you do? I don't always suggest you listen to your close friends and family when making decisions. However love is blind and the things that others can see may not always be in clear view to you. If you have a close friend that always gives good advice, for heaven's sake listen! It now seems you are at a cross road right? It all happened so fast. You just got out of a relationship and yet you are back in another seems overnight. There is no way you can decipher the difference in the emotions you are feeling. Why? Because you haven't healed from the last relationship that you were in. There is absolutely no way you are ready to start another one. Take time to love yourself and mend your heart. Speaking of which and contrary to what lyricists and poets convey, you cannot rely on another to mend your heart. It is a process that takes some time that you have to do some soul searching for. You say, yeah that's good and all but that's not me. Ok, fair enough. If you are like me, you are the type of person that mourns in silence and seclusion. I am the type of person that believes that tears are a sign of weakness and vulnerability. Therefore, I never allow people to see me cry. The one you loved be it for a day or a lifetime left without saying goodbye. Suddenly you feel lost and inadequate because it feels like a part of you is missing. You secretly sob maniacally at times when you think of your lost love. You miss them so much that a moment with them just one more time would change your world around. You long and yearn for them but they are no longer at your reach. You lay at night on tear drenched pillows thinking of what you could have done differently. Everything you see reminds you of them. Crazy huh? Not really. Sometimes it takes a loss for us to realize that we were in love and didn't know it..often after its too late. I am a romantic dreamer. I sometimes find myself longing for such unrealistic romance it's just rediculous. I guess you can say I live in a romance novel. And yes, admittedly so im a little out of touch with reality when it comes to relationships. I'm the type of woman that dreams of white horses and moonlight gondola rides in Venice. But hey, that's just me. Because of this I find that my expectations of the man I choose to be in my life are far more outrageous than beyond his limitations. I want to be swept off my feet like every woman dreams of. But... At what cost will I find the man of my dreams? Do I sacrifice my own desires and specifications and settle for "Average Joe"? Or should I keep the proverbial candle burning?
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