Viewing 1 - 3 out of 3 Blogs.

One day I won’t be doing so bad One day I will look at my life and just smile One day people will know me for the good I’ve done with my life and see a role model is what I oughta be I’ve seen death because of my profession and I’ve learnt not to fear it because of my experiences now that I’ve got a son I can’t be so reckless with my choices because he is directly depending on me I refuse to be a daddy who isn’t around I want to be there for him until the Lord decides that I have done all that I can do because what I can do for him can never be enough no more looking at my parents mistakes and getting angry I now look at their mistakes and model my life from it so that I cannot and try not to make their mistakes Times right now is really hard but I refuse to complain or give up, and in my and only in my solitude I shed a tear when the times put weight on my shoulders that I don’t think I can handle but my son is my light that brightens up the darkest parts of my mind and even though the lil nigga is as rude as hell I still thank GOD every chance I get for lending him to me, honestly he made me what I am today when my life was pointed at all the bad choices a young man my age could possibly be making I was forced to grow up long before him but I feel as if I matured when I was given him sometimes I don’t have a dime to buy me a mint to wash away last night’s hunger from my tongue but so long as he has a fully belly I really don’t care I refuse to let him become a victim or a suspect so I will teach him everything that I was taught and then some I know I cannot make his decisions for him but I will do my best to point him in the direction that he needs to be going I want to be a father and a friend to my son but I want to be a father first friend second I grew up in the church and I strayed away but I will try my best to steer him close to the LORD. If it’s one thing I’ve learnt it’s that GOD will not allow you to suffer if you put your problems in his hands but he also won’t do all the work for you so you have to put your work in. I really am not trying to make no particular point this was just burning to get out of me and as I placed my fingers on the keys these words just came out so if it touched anybody out there then just thank God cause this may be the answer to a question you may have asked him. People die everyday and no person is promised a tomorrow the only thing you are sure about is yesterday and right now so make the right choices especially you fathers out there.    

Pardon me but did you see my heart? I lost it when it was last abused and now I cant seem to find it and I really need it, see I knew a girl that took me for granted and threw away my love and all I had to offer and since that moment I've put my feelings aside but It would seem that I misplaced my heart through all the pain and anger, but since then I met a new girl who loves me with all of her heart but I cant return the favor no matter how hard I try.
The last time I saw my heart I was drowning away my pain in a bottle of hennesey on the rocks with no chaser, I dont know where it could be but I do know that the girl that hurt me so bad no longer has access to it.I dont know where it could be but this is my formal complaint that I am making to the world please be on the look out for it its fragile but its probably the most beautiful thing you can ever encounter there is a reward Im offering and no its not money its a life long committment filled with passion and trust based on a bond that no one person can ever come between.

I havent done this in a minute but hey here goes nothing!!!!!

I've been watching the world turn and the people change Im no longer a boy but yet still not a man I have plans and ambitions all thought out for my life.
I dont have a wife but I do have a son and everyday I watch him grow,just being there for him is a blessing to me sometimes I let him sleep on my chest just to feel his heart beat with every breath he breathes I thank the Lord for good health because that in itself is better than wealth.

this is for my son
Jayden Toriano Roberts